It’s a feisty and honestly anxiety ridden time for ladies. There is a steady rising, like a flood, a flood of intensity, of fairness, a flood of change. But when you’ve spent your life thinking one way, it’s hard to re-learn to think another way.
* * *
As a girl in her twenties who put on a bachelorette party on for her friend I was “on duty”. I watched my friends dance drunk at a bar, checking my watch for when I can wrangle them up and drag their asses to the hotel to sleep. Out of nowhere, my head was grabbed on either side and pulled to meet the face of a drunk stranger. I panicked. I panicked like I never had before…or since. I pushed the man away and got away from him. And what I did next was so strange—I did nothing. I went back to waiting for my friends.
The campaign to express the number of women who have been raped or molested is making things visible. My initial thought: well that little thing only happened to me once. Huh. “Little thing that only happened once.” A man I didn’t know grabbed my head with strength, and pulled it towards him to kiss me. I didn’t get raped so…it wasn’t that bad right? It just happens. I told a few people and shrugged with how silly it was. Silly.
A man grabbed me and it was silly. If someone grabbed my sister I would fucking punch him. My friends, my friends were drunk. Who was looking out for me? No one. This is years ago, only now do I think—maybe that was a bad thing that happened to me. Man grab me = bad BAD bad? Yes bad! ALWAYS BAD.
Everyone all change our brains.
*Brooke Shaden image
Ok, but to be fair, how many times have you drunkenly grabbed men and tried to be suggestive and touch their intimate places? Oh, none? Zero times? Huh. I think you’re on to something that should be common sense! Just some people need help getting that. But visibility is key. Thank you for sharing, love.