I spent half of it with a kidney stone, surgery, then over two weeks with two stents. Oh and they found a tumor. The nice, rare kind. They took it out, I’m fine, everything’s fine.
I watched Rings of Power again. I became romantically obsessed with the Sauron character. Gotta hyper fixate on something right? A really good-looking evil guy…why yes, yes indeed.
May is chomping at the bit to outdo April.
Lunch with my MIL. She tried to hide it as a “girl’s lunch” but I knew the deal. So I made David come too. And sure enough, religion reared its ugly head. For the second time, I told her I don’t believe in the afterlife. There was more stuff but at the core, it made me feel like shit. I make a lot of excuses for her, saying she is really decent once you get passed a few minor things. But maybe it’s not minor anymore. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, so I don’t put boundaries up. But then I end up getting hurt.
It’s strange…all the parts of society that hurt. Hurt different people in all sorts of ways. Being a person hurts. Being alive hurts. Every time I think I’ve found some peace; the world tumbles a little more. Waiting for a yes instead of a no. Too scared of a yes anyways. I wouldn’t know what to do with a Yes if I got one.