I’m not gonna lie, it’s hard not to take it personal when there is a baby at the table next to you and it starts crying once you look at it and it looks back at you. This is the majority of interactions I have with children. I guess if I felt some sort of connection to babies I might be more upset but I see them as tiny parasitic beings that are deaf to reasoning. I guess that’s not the main topic.
A few days ago I turned 34. My tride-and-true friends gave me a very wonderful weekend that I will feel guilt over the cost of for a while I’m sure. I got extremely drunk and barfed from alcohol for the first time in my life. Yeah I went my whole 20s without barfing from drunkness. I think the fun is over people.
As with every year of my life, a lot has changed and much of that change happened out of my control. And I’m actually an ENFP so I’m not obsessed with control but I mean, it’d be nice to spend some legitimate time at the same job or on consistent medication.
So 34…34…what should I do to make myself proud of myself? In therapy they say to set goals. I have a defeatist attitude so those rarely work out. Maybe I set the bar super super low. Meh the ADD and anxiety are blocking my thought making abilities. NO. I’m going to write a short fiction story! Fiction is what I’m worst at but I keep getting encouragement to do it.
In one year I will have a story. So far I’ve been asked to do erotica and science-fiction. I’m not sure my background is good for either but the words flow how they flow ya know. (Not a prude…or in denial about it…not sure)