For whatever reason, when I’m faced with an important decision or I have to make a strong first impression, my brain does something funny—it ADDs itself right off a cliff. During my tenure at my previous job, I once decided to try what the makeup experts call: contouring. The idea is to make ones face more pleasant by applying makeup in layers and BLENDING. But why? Why at 7:30am on a random day did I decide to conquer what only Youtube has been able to? I no longer work there but you see what I’m saying.


Today I needed to go to my new employer and give them some paperwork I had filled out. Yes it’s true I am physically and mentally unwell, (see previous entry and life in general) but while getting clean I had an ah-ha moment. My arms, for whatever reason are too hairy. I’m not old Jewish man hairy but I’m not dainty lady either. But not to worry, brain had the answer! SHAVE THEM NOWWWWW.


I have never shaved my arms. I had chalked it up to another thing I hated about my appearance, but I’m married, so gotcha motherfucker! In the blink of an eye I had swiped and swiped. No turning back now obviously.


Okay yes, yes, this is right. This was the right move. Once they can clearly see the skin on my arms they will know, confidently, she is the right hire. She screams, hygiene…and strong cheek bones.

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