If you watched that Jeffrey Dahmer series, it was pretty intense. Strangely the thing I most took away from it was from Niecy Nash’s part. She was afraid she would be haunted forever by the being that was Dahmer. She got sound advice telling her that one day she would be able to come across a picture of him and feel nothing. I too am in such a lucky place now.
Not with something/someone so severe as a serial killer, but a person who broke my heart. I feel embarrassed that’s it’s taken over a decade, truly embarrassed. But it happens in its own time I suppose.
In this world of social media and connections, I was always bound to have an old picture pop up. Deciding to still love a couple of mutual friends. Seeing that face is really just a matter of time. But it happened recently. My own forgotten picture no less. I won’t lie, the wind left my chest for a moment. But then it passed rather quickly. And I finally feel nothing. I’m excited actually. I feel freer.
I don’t believe the old saying about people can only make you feel bad if you let them. Sometimes it’s beyond you. Beyond control. My heart and mind might not be as strong as Elenore Roosevelt’s. But I do believe in the healing of time. You can’t put a date or limit on it. But it works…eventually.
Eventually I’ve stopped caring. There’s a person out there who made promises to a young albeit idiot, me. They lied. We both moved on. I crawled on. Through despair and muck. But I can stand now next to my wonderful life. I can stand and not faulter. I’ve got a fair amount of people to thank for helping along the way. But I’m free.
