That’s the worst way to preface a conversation. It’s the old conundrum Leo and JGL faced in Inception when Cillian had to have an original thought…if I tell you don’t think of elephants; you’re going to think of elephants. (also the top keeps spinning at the end and who the fuck knows what’s real or not but everyone is so dreamy it sort of doesn’t matter).


But my manager said those words. What?! Huh?! Christ on a cracker I knew this day would come!


No no really, he said. The office just sent this form over for you to sign, you’ve just spent half the allotted sick days for your introductory period. And don’t worry, I’m not concerned, you just ran into some bad luck when you started. If I thought this would be a problem then we would have to talk. But I don’t, it’s just a formality.


I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME! (I sort of yelled) The thought had crossed my mind…I’m sickly. You know what kind of jobs sickly people have? NONE JOBS, that’s what! Again he told me he wasn’t worried and he just needed my signature. So I signed the bastard of a paper and he sent it away.


Granted, the income I receive from my—lets play “town” and you be the mayor in the basement sort of job only keeps me in cigarettes and gasoline, I like it and I don’t want to lose it. So lets stay motherfuckin healthy my friends! I ain’t signing no more papers!

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